One of my favorite songs is "Scream" from "Tokio Hotel". Here's a video and lyrics.
You get up and somebody tells you where to go to
When you get there everybody's telling you what to doThank you, it's been another bloody MondayAnd no one is asking what you wanted anyway Scream, 'til you feel itScream, 'til you believe itScream, and when it hurts youScream it out loud Scream, 'til you feel itScream, 'til you believe itScream, and when it hurts youScream it out loud Watch out, stay awake, they're lookinObsess you, they are always workin'Promisin', everything you never asked forAnd one day it'll be too late and you beg for more
Back to zero, your time's about to comeLet them know you're not just anyoneYour time's about to come
Shut upNo, can't you feel itNo, don't you believe itNo, and when it hurts youScream it out loud No, no, no, no, no, noScream it out loud, scream This is Tokio Hotel's song that I listened to for the first time. When I was a high school student, I was using Youtube a lot. And it was happened that I found them. At first, I thought "ah, it's a V-kei band" and I wasn't interested in it. And I skipped watching it, but again I found them. Finally, I watched it and became a fan. So this is my memorable song. Also, I really like the lyrics. It says that we have to scream to find real ourselves. It's something that teenagers like. I got older and I hope I am not so childish as I was. But still I like the song. I used to a really really big fan of them. Of course, I still love them, but not so much. My interest went somewhere else. I found out what I'm interested in, what I should do, what I really want to do. And this is thanks to the song, "Scream".
There will be no meaning in my life if I don't have freedom.
It is not a life if others decide what I do or something.
I have freedom to decide what to do, where to go, what to eat, what to drink, what to study, what to love, what to hate, and so on.
However, there are rules in the world.
There are many things that I must not do. For example, don't kill others, don't break something.....
So, there is a limit of the freedom. And it is very interesting.
I have to live on within it. If I can do whatever I want, my life will be boring. My life is fun, interesting, exciting and enjoyable because I have limited freedom.
Also, as I respect my freedom, I have to respect others' freedom. This also limits my freedom. But that's fine.
Freedom is the most precious in my life.
Thanks to the freedom, I will enjoy my life.
If I traveled to Edo period, and met my favorite swordsman, Heisuke Todo(when he was around 20), what would I do?
sample picture of Heisuke Todo(from one anime)
Heisuke Todo
He belonged to Shinsengumi, but he left it for some reasons. He became a member of "Goryoeji". At the age of 23 or 24, he was killed by one swordsman of Shinsengumi.
3 Things I Want to Do
1
First, I'd like to talk with him. I want to talk about simple things, like favorite foods, favorite color, crazy experiences and so on.
He was 20 or so, and I am 20 years old now. So it should be interesting to compare our thoughts or something like that.
2
Secondly, I want to take pictures with him!(if I had a camera). It is said that Heisuke Todo was a handsome guy. Unfortunately, (maybe fortunately?), there is no picture. If I got the picture, I would never let anyone look at it. I guess I would keep it because that would be my treasure. No sharing!
3
Thirdly, I really want to see his sword. It is said that his sword was "kazusanosukekaneshige", and it was a really nice Japanese sword. I want have a look. And if it is possible, I want to see Heisuke Todo using the sword, the real samurai's sword.
☆Would I tell him that he was sure to be killed?
I think I would tell.
Probably, many people say "You should not, because it will change the history.".
I really like/respect him.
He was very young when he was killed. And I actually wish he lived longer.
Also, how he was killed is really terrible. His head was cut. The length was 21cm, and depth was 6cm. I even cannot imagine how it hurt.
I really really wish he lived longer, and I really don't want him to get in such a pain.
I know changing history is not good.
But I don't think the history would be changed by my telling.
I am sure that Heisuke Todo would not escape.
He was not a man who escaped just because something looked scary. He was brave enough to fight against what looked terrible. He was brave enough to accept the reality and the future.
So, I think I would tell.
If I would not tell him, I think I will regret it.
I tell him and he is killed... this is better than that I do not tell and he is killed.
I'm sure that this never happen, but if Heisuke Todo change his behavior because he does not want to die, he is not my favorite swordsman anymore.
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Heisuke Todo is not so famous as Toshizo Hijikata, or Soji Okita. And there is not so many article about him. So 50% of what kind of person Heisuke Todo is my imagination and guess. Maybe more.
But that's fine. Everything will be clear when I die. I believe that I will meet him somewhere but this world.
My summer vacation when I was a high school student was really hard.
I went to a high school in Fukuoka, and we had a very grand sports festival.
I belonged to "oendan". And I had to practice a lot for it.
oendan at a sport festival.
Why I belonged to oendan
To tell the truth, I really did not want to join it. It looked strange, hard, crazy....but about 10 students had to join it because it was a traditional club at my high school. Unfortunately, I was the one of them.
The extremely hard practice in summer
As you can see, our costume was "gakuran".
Male students wear it in WINTTER. But, I wore it in SUMMER. How crazy it was!
Some people say that gakuran is cool, or something. I'm sure that they only know the handsome boys in gakuran. (like the picture below) For me, gakurain is one of the terrible clothes.
i don't know who he is...
What I did for practice was....yelling, making very loud voice, some performance. The video below is one of it.
I did that kind of things for 5hours or so almost every day under the sun.
What happened when I did that in gakuran?
Of course, it was really uncomfortable, smelled of sweat, extremely hot...
Fortunately, I never lost my consciousness. But I often felt bad.
And, what I really hated was that we must not wear shoes.
We were always on asphalt. Have you ever touched asphalt in the summer? It is really really hot.
I had to stand on that. I was like a bacon on a ｆrying pan.
After the sports festival
I was not lazy student, I guess(hope). So I joined almost all of the practice.
I was really nerves on the performance on the sports festival. But what I had to do was what I did on practice. With my friends, I enjoyed it every year.
Since the practice was really hard, I cried a little every year after the sports festival. When I was 1st and 2nd grade student, I felt like "ah, I made it", and cried a little. But at 3rd grade, I cried because I knew I would never have this great experience, including the practice. I actually really hated the practice, though.
What I think now
As I said, I really didn't like the practice because it was really hard and I lacked physical strength (still now). But now, I have to admit that I really missed the practice in the summer.
Some friends who were better at sports than me often worried about me. I worried about some friends who were not so strong physically. We all helped each other.
I often say "I don't wanna practice anymore." or "I wanna go home." with my friends. But I was there because my friends were there.
What I thought was crazy is now one of my good memories.
What I learned and what I will do
I learned that I have to keep learning, studying, practicing....even if it seems meaningless.
I have many things that I don' like. Or there are many things that look meaningless to me.
For example, I don't like studying English, or using English. This is just because I am poor at it. My current life is kinda satisfied. I am really into anime/manga or video games, and I do not need to use English for them. Probably I don't know why I study English now.
But, now I learned important things from my hard summer.
What I don't want to do is not what I don't need to do.
I have to keep studying English, studying other things, practicing Japanese sword(one of my hobby), the piano.
Maybe, I will not be good at English, nor the piano...but I'm sure I will get something important, like perseverance or patience or self-confidence.
(But I'm not a superman or anyone, so I have to choose what I have to do first.)
(And I am very permissive on myself, so it will be difficult for me to do what I actually don't want to and to stop playing video games or watching anime too much for it.)
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Now, the experience in the summer is one of my best memories.
Who am I? I'd like to answer this question by talking about 8 people who I like, who I respect, or who influenced me a lot.
Mesut Oezil
He is a German soccer player. He is originally from Turkey and his family was very poor. But he overcame the difficulty and became a famous soccer player. This doesn't mean that he made efforts only for soccer. Actually, he did his best for studying at school, too.
I hope that I will never give up my dream just because of the difficulty surrounding me.
Bill Kaulitz
He is a German singer from Tokio Hotel. I really like him not only because he is handsome but also he is a cool man. He looks very unique. He wears make-up, and his hair style looks crazy sometimes. But it is his style. He is not afraid of being different from other people.
Sometimes, it is uncomfortable to be different from the majority. But I want to find and accept my characteristic and my unique points.
Freddie Mercury
He was a great singer from the UK. Unfortunately, he passed away already, but his music is still famous and popular. His characteristic was very unique and it was not accepted by the society sometimes. But he did what he wanted to do.
I have many things that I would like to do, but I sometimes hesitate to do some of them because I am afraid of others's criticize. I will try to do all I want to do before my death.
Heisuke Todo
He was a samurai who belonged to Shinsengumi,. He passed away at the age of 23 or 24. He went to the enemy first when Shinsengumi had to fight. He left Shinsengumi because of his belief, and killed in Abura Koji no Hen by Shinsengumi. At this event, he never ran away.
He was almost same age as me when he died. I'm now 20 year old, but have no belief or have no thing to risk my life on. I don't think I have to find it soon, but I'd like to find it. When I find it in the future, I hope I will keep it. I also hope I will never run away from the difficulty.
there is no image. so, this is a picture of Heisuke Todo's sword, Kazusanosukekaneshige.
Toshizo Hijikata
He was a samurai who was belonged to Shinsengumi. He was a farmer originally, but he wanted to be a samurai. It was a very hard dream in Edo period. But he never gave up.
I don't have a dream, such as a dream that I wanna be a doctor. When I find a dream, I would like not to give up it. Sometimes, it is really hard to make the dream come true. But what I have to do then is to trust/believe in myself and to keep holding the dream.
Kenshin Himura
He is a character from Rurou ni Kenshin. He is a samurai. He is strong and he beats evil enemies. But he doesn't think that winners are always justice, or right. He is that critical to himself.
He is very critical. People around him says "You are a hero, you are justice" or something like that. But he denies it and says that I just did what I think I have to do and it is accepted by chance or thanks to the society. I respect him as a ICU student.
Shanks
He is a character from One Piece. He is a great pirate. !0 years ago, he saved one boy and he lost one of his arms. But he didn't regret it. He didn't care. He forgive any rudeness to himself, but he never forgive those who hurt his friends.
I think I can risk my life or arms to save my family. But I am not sure that I will do that when it comes to my friends. It doesn't mean I don't like my friends, though. And, I get angry soon....I don't like that my friends are teased by someone, but to tell the truth, I prefer it to that I am teased. I have to have the magnanimity like him.
Portgas D Ace
He is a character from One Piece. He is a very strong pirate, but he died unfortunately. He is not afraid of the enemy, even when they are very strong. He tries not to regret anything in his life. So he is not afraid anything and keeps going his way.
He is really brave. He is really man enough. I am female, but I'd like to be brave like him. I don't want to regret anything in my life, but I sometimes run away from what I'm afraid of, or what I don't like, and I regret it later. I hope I will do what I think I have to do, or what I want to do.
I really like all of them, respect them, and they influenced me a lot. I am not kind, brave, or critical enough like them. But I'd like to be.
I think I am a person who want to be myself. I mean I am a person who searching for the answer for the question "Who am I ?". So, this topic was kinda impossible for me to answer. Sorry.--
But I found out that I want to be brave, kind, critical, and that I want to have self-confidence to do what I want to do.
Today, I write about my favorite episode from the anime called One Piece.
My favorite episode of One Piece is "答えを探して 火拳のエース戦場に死す".
Summary of the episode
Luffy, who is the main character of One Piece tries to save Ace, his older brother. He beats a lot of enemies and reaches him. But while they are escaping from the enemies, Ace dies to save Luffy from one enemy. Ace understand that he will soon die and says what he want to tell to Luffy.
(Luffy's parents are different from Ace's parents.)
Ace is the son of the most famous pirate, which means he is the son of the criminal. He has been searching for the answer to the question, "Was it good that I was born?". He has been hated by many people just because his father was a pirate. But after he became a pirate, he met a lot of friends who he can trust. And he sees that they try to save him risking their lives.
Ace's last words is "Thank you for loving me."
What I was really moved by
I was really moved by his last words, "Thank you for loving me", of course. I'm sure that he really doesn't like that his father was a famous pirate. He thought no one loved him, or needed him. He had a lot of sad experiences because of his father. But, Luffy, and his pirate friends never care about it. They regard him as a man, a pirate, a friend.
I've never discriminated, nor discriminated because of my parents. So, I may not understand how sad he is. But, I can understand how happy he is when he sees that his friends tries to save him risking their lives.
Actually, he didn't want to live on because he think he is not worth to live or something. But his minds is changed by seeing his friends and his little brother. He really wants to live on. I learns how important love is. It can change people's mind, and it can save people mentally.
I guess Ace was a really terrible man who cannot trust people, who cannot love others, and who cannot love himself.
Thanks to the people around him, he understands that they really love him, and this is very joyful to him.
So, his last words "Thank you for loving me" is really impressive to me. It's really simple words, but it express Ace's gratitude or happiness to his friends, or even to his life.
What I learn from this episode
Firstly, I learn that discrimination which is caused by unfair reasons hurts people. I have never met people whose father or someone is a criminal. But I sometimes see that kind of people in movies or drama. That discrimination really hurts them. People cannot choose their parents, brothers or sisters. So, it is unreasonable that people discriminate others because of their family.
I don't know how to stop their discrimination. What I can do now if I meet that kind of discrimination is not to do that even if all people around me are doing that.
Secondly, I learn that how important the relation among people is. People cannot live alone, and they need people to live with. To tell the truth, I'm poor at getting along with others. I do not know how people around me feel when they are with me. Am I kind enough? Am I mean? Am I funny? Am I noisy? I don't know. But, I don't think I have to be a good friend to my friends, or I have to be a good daughter to my parents. I believe that I have to be honest to myself, and that I don't need to pretend. Then, I will understand them, and they understand me really. This is what I think is most important about the relation with others. In the episode, I see that Ace's friends love Ace himself. I hope and believe that I will find that kind of people. Maybe, I have one or two that kind of people and not notice it. Then I'd like to notice that wonderful people are with me.
I don't like writing. That's because I don't like express my feeling, thought, idea or something like that. Also, I don't think people should tell those kind of things to others. I prefer keeping them and developing them in my mind.
I chose this class because I would like to know myself more. Of course, I know where I was born, my favorite food, my hobbies and so on. However, I do not know what kind of person I am, or how I feel about something. And, I do not have time to think about it, nor opportunity. So, I decided to to take this class.
